The Social Costs of Building a House

by Alyssa Raven

 
          It was a nice sunny day when my sister, mother, and I met our new neighbors. Our mother had told us that the neighbors had kids about our age and we were excited to meet them. When we finally met them they extended their arms to us, offering a handshake. When our mother explained how she and Grandpa were going to build a house, (she didn’t mention it would be a two-story) the neighbors seemed supportive. “If there is anything you need just let us know,” the neighbors across the street told us. We felt so welcomed into this community. We thought we had stumbled into heaven.

          After a couple of years, our mother, Terry Barrette, was finally ready to submit her first house plans to the Los Altos City Council for approval.  My sister, Lindsey, and I were walking our dogs the morning after our mother had told us the news, and one of our neighbors down the block happened to pass us by.  They asked, “How is your mother doing?” and we told them of her latest plan. Suddenly the smile turned to a subtle, unpleasant look and they said, “Oh that’s nice, have a nice day.”  My sister and I were a little puzzled, but immediately dismissed the look when we reached home.  A week before the plans were submitted, we heard there was a meeting in a house two blocks down.  It was one to which we were not invited regarding our house plans. When it came time to present to the council, my mother was shocked to see that most of our close neighbors were fighting against the plans. Each and every one of them had a complaint that they wanted heard, no matter how ridiculous it was. One neighbor complained how the chimney would cast a shadow into the window across their yard and two different neighbors wanted the front of the house to face a certain way. The people whom I once considered welcoming and kind-hearted were now showing another side.  Our mother went home silently that night, still struck with the change in attitude of the community. It was the second time I had ever seen her cry in my entire life.

 

•            When people enter large-scale projects such as this, they don’t realize the toll it can take on relationships.  A new home construction can be seen as a “threat” by the surrounding community when the builder wants to deviate from the community’s ideals.   In such a case, the new owner faces a difficult choice: to be true to their vision of the home they want to create, or to avoid making any changes that might make someone mad.  The community tends to favor non-change, but that never stops a family from building a house.  The city council ultimately decides whether or not a house gets approved.   Unfortunately, the council tends to lean more towards the side of the community in matters like these, which makes it hard for any houses that don’t fit the community’s standards to get approved.

 

Relations between the City Council and the New Community Member

 

            As we entered the doors of the city hall, we didn’t know what to expect.  We knew that the community was against us, but we didn’t know how the council would rule on our second set of house plans.  As expected, everyone who was arguing against the new house plans were all people we recognized from our neighborhood. When the meeting began, I felt as if we were inside a courtroom. Both sides, the neighbors and my Mom, argued about the features of the proposed house.  Although Mom’s arguments were clear and straightforward, the council voted on the side of the community, once again.  Mom had spent another year drawing up new plans, and editing every little detail with her father, Phil Barrette, to try and meet the requests set forth at the first city council meeting while trying to maintain features she wanted to keep.  Again, the same neighbors showed up and fought the new plans, and again they succeeded.

            The city council for the Los Altos community is a committee that oversees certain community projects such as building a library, church, etc.  The city also needs to approve certain residential construction projects to make sure that everyone is happy in the area.  Therefore, the city council works much like a court of law.  There are seven council members, each of whom handles different aspects of the meetings.  Although the council members determine whether something is approved or not, what the neighbors say weighs heavily as a deciding factor.  The neighbors write letters dictating that they either approve the plan or that it does not meet the community’s requirements. These letters are then sent to the city council, where the council basically evaluates each letter to determine if it is legitimate.  The council uses the letters to see if the new house plans are consistent with the residential standards or if the plans still need to be changed.  For example, one letter from Mr. and Mrs. Soto stated: “The plans for this home are out of scale and harmony for the surrounding area.  It’s very large and imposing, complex in design and out of context with the rest of the neighborhood…..we urge the planning department and homeowner to reconsider their approach in favor of a less complex style.”  Many of the neighbors felt that the house was too “much” for their small community and favored a small, one-story house instead. 

            Terry was astonished that such comments would even be considered after she had painstakingly tried to meet all of the requirements set forth following the rejection of her first set of house plans.  It was very discouraging because she had spent a great deal of her own time and effort in learning how to draw and drawing up the new plans herself, since she could not afford to pay a professional engineer for the many, many changes required for the revisions.  The City Council obviously was tending to favor the considerations of the community more than those of the “new-comers,” and was failing to consider the great effort and financial cost involved in each revision that was then required.

            Over the past few years, some new requirements on the construction of new homes in Los Altos have been created, such as, “You cannot move into a house located within the Los Altos area until every aspect of the construction is done, including the yard.” (Planning Commission Regulations) This regulation makes it very difficult for the family because they have to live in a different home until everything is complete and have to pay for the costs of two residences until that time.  Also, families would like to move directly into the house once it is finished, not wait for an inspector to come and critique what little details still need to be changed, as many of those changes could occur after move in.  The harshest regulations which affect the kind of structure allowed state, “The height, elevations, and placement on the site of the proposed main or accessory structure or addition, when considered with reference to the nature and location of residential structures on adjacent lots, will avoid unreasonable interference with views and privacy, and will consider the topographic and geologic constraints imposed by particular building site conditions.”   This makes it difficult to build a house that varies in too much degree from the surrounding houses. The district of Los Altos has such strict standards that each house has to follow, that the majority of all the houses in our neighborhood are one-story houses and follow the same type of exterior décor.  It is amazing how the unique houses in the area even got approved.

           Terry's father, Phil Barrette, and contractor for the house stated, “Out of all my years of contracting, I have never faced a case where I would have to submit three different designs on three different occasions in order to begin construction.  It is obvious that since the community didn’t agree with us, that the council also didn’t agree.” (Phil Barrette, 3/6/09) The process was long and hard for our family, and we felt as if we were being treated unfairly.  We wondered if the community had other reasons why they either didn’t like us or the house.

 

Relationships With the Community

 

            Our mother was like a walking zombie by the time the third plan didn’t pass the city council.  She told us, “What have I done to them!?”  We didn’t know the answer. The neighbors seemed to enjoy our company when we had first settled in. Antony, Kathy, Bobby, and Edda welcomed us with open arms when we finally got the last of our things into the house we eventually tore down for the construction of the new house.  Anthony and Kathy had just gotten done with building their house as well, but it was not a two-story house like our soon-to-be house.  Tony and Kathy we knew very well, because they had gone through the same things that we were about to go through. They told us that they had planned to build a two-story house, but had changed their minds after listening to the council meetings. “We recently completed a new house, our residence for almost 12 years, and took painstaking efforts to make sure the house fit into the style of the area. Our original plans called for a two-story construction but, after giving this some thought, we felt that this was not inline with existing structures.” (Anthony & Kathy)  Knowing this, we thought these neighbors would support us when we went to submit our plans, because they knew what it took to get there.  Word got out that we were building a two-story house. Many of the neighbors we once talked to, such as Tony and Kathy, no longer spoke to us. My mother realized what was going on. From then on the neighbors we once knew seemed like enemies. They fought every plan, and any slight flaw that was in the design was immediately noted and criticized.  Few of the neighbors still supported us.  It felt like we were fighting a losing battle.

            NIMBY (2) is an acronym that signifies “Not In My Back Yard” and basically means that when some new idea or change is introduced into a community, it is usually seen as unwanted or unbeneficial. Neighbors tend to want things to remain similar, in the case of the house.  “In a Consistent Character Neighborhood, an appropriate design has design elements, materials, and scale found within the neighborhood. (Guidelines, page 10) Additionally, proposed sizes should not be significantly larger than surrounding structures. And the emphasis should be on fitting in and reducing abrupt changes.” (Architecture site & review) The first plans that Mom submitted to the Council were basically of a French style home that was pretty fancy and cultural. The Lerida and San Luis streets consisted mainly of modern American style homes that contained no major outstanding features. When Mom pushed really hard for the first plans to be approved, it was clear that the neighbors thought the consistency of the neighborhood would be destroyed.

            It is also easy to see why Mom would have been upset. Many people building new homes want them to be the home of their dreams. In this case, Mom wanted to construct her dream home where she and her kids could enjoy living, and was faced with resentment for the attempt.  “The community and their (lack of) support in building the house has just been…….unbelievable,” Mom stated.  It seemed as though the community hated her more than they hated just the house. “The community hasn’t helped Mom at all, PERIOD,” retorted Mom’s youngest daughter, Lindsey.  We feel like we are hated now, just because of something we wanted to build; something that we dreamed of building. Was it really worth doing, if we are now disliked?”

            As time went on, there were still more complaints. One day, a man and woman, stopped in front of the property and began pointing in many places. I could not hear what they were saying. A couple weeks later, we saw those very same people a city council meeting. They told the members of the council what they saw and that many of the ideas that we were trying to implement into the house were illogical. “The proposed massive two-story design is up to the 27’ maximum height limit with a truncated flat roof at this elevation. An additional two feet of ornamental wrought iron is proposed beyond the maximum allowable height, on top of the roof. This structure would dwarf anything in the neighborhood.” (Gregory & Kate Evard) They argued that if it was not necessary, it must be taken away for it was causing discomfort to other neighbors. Most of the neighbors felt as if the house would basically interfere with the community in a negative way.  All the main arguments focused on the fact that the house was not like the other houses on the street and would thus, “stick out like a sore thumb.”  Fear of this caused the neighbors to further reject the house, hoping that Mom, like Antony and Kathy, would eventually build a one-story house that would be consistent with the general house designs on the street.  Unfortunately, this increased the tension between the neighbors and Mom, which resulted in an increase of stress and depression for her.

            “Your mother feels like she has lost much more than she has gained by building this house,” Grandma told us at the table one afternoon. “If she had a choice to do it again, she said she wouldn’t.  The most painful thing about this whole ordeal is that she has lost time with you two.  But the house must be finished, although the process has been long and difficult, your mother has fought hard and long in order for you two to live in a good home and school district.” (Grandma Barrette) It was Mom’s dream to build this house and it was my dream to live in a good school district and I wanted to do everything I could to help her out.

 

Relationship with Family

 

            The battle had been long and hard and Mom was feeling more stressed than usual. She was now finished making revisions on her third plan for the house, hoping that it would get approved.  The thought of everyone turning against her still loomed in the back of her mind and she feared that the construction might never get done.  Finally, the third house plans were approved.  The house was still a two-story but was totally different in appearance and scale from the first plans.  Unfortunately, the real stress was now just beginning.  The actual construction phase of the project turned out to be even more stressful than the plan approval phase.  We could see that it was taking a huge toll on Mom.  One day when she came home from a long day of work, she sat next to us on the couch and quietly told us, “I don’t think building a house right now was such a good idea. I have lost so much time with my sweeties over the past couple years.”  We were shocked that Mom would even say something like that. We felt terrible that she would give up her dream for us.  It became a priority for us to support Mom in her project and make sure that she completed it without feeling guilty about us.

            Before we had begun work on the house, we used to go on vacations all the time with our mother.  After finishing seventh grade, we went to Europe with her and didn’t have a care in the world.  But after Mom started to build the house, all her free time became focused on the house. She had to maintain her job as V.P. of Quick logic and build a house all on her own.  Edward G. Goetz in an article stated , “We go through our relationships at work and at home, taking on any number of responsibilities, forgetting our true purpose and winding up, at the end of the day, a little short.”  I believe Mom has gone through this process and felt she has wound up “a little short.”  She wanted the best possible home and education for her children, and so thought that she could do it, no matter what the cost. But now she realizes she has lost something more valuable as a result.  She feels bad for losing time with everyone in her family, most of all her kids, and wishes that she had never started the house in the first place.

            Mom stated, “I’m secluded from my family,” but in reality, the family is closer to her than ever before in their support. Lindsey, her younger daughter, says, “I know she is going through a hard time right now, but the best thing for us to do is to let her get through it and encourage her through the whole process. I am glad that Mom made the house, but I don’t think she was prepared to handle it alone.” Everyone in the family needed to help Mom, and so everyone in the family has become a part of the house. Mom’s older sister form Arizona, Denise, came down and helped with choosing the interior floor and wall coverings.  Grandpa was there every step of the way making sure all of the necessary and special details were taken care of, including the construction of beautiful custom cabinetry and the staircase, Mom’s boyfriend, Reg, helped construct the decks on the balconies and was there to facilitate the sub contractors, Mom’s younger sister, Lorra, wants to help with interior decorating, and Lindsey and I cleaned the house. The house, rather than breaking the family apart, has pulled all of us together. A piece of our hearts is in every inch of the new house as all of us helped Mom to make it. Instead of telling her what she couldn’t do, we tried to help her see what she could do. As Phil Barrette says, “Terry is an amazing girl for when she really puts her mind to it, she can’t stop working until it’s done.”

            Although Mom is sad about missing out on much of her daughters’ high school lives, the family is in fact keeping a good, strong relationship with her. We understood the stress that she had to deal with, and instead of pushing her away, we encouraged her to finish the house, which was finally completed in March of 2009.

 

Conclusion

 

             The process of building a new house in Los Altos was long and hard and had major impacts on our family. We wanted a new, unique house that was a part of the community, but also fulfilled Mom’s dream.  The neighbors wanted the house to be congruent with the existing aspects of the neighborhood, and Mom wanted her own style, which resulted in resentment on either side.  It is hard to see if the house is actually worth all the grief it has created for Mom.  She lost time with her family, endured great emotional and physical stress, and lost some relationships with the neighbors.  But in the long run, the new house was finished, Lindsey and I are going to a great school, and the family is going to come over and visit constantly. The house has some elements of the community, but not much. Some of the neighbors come to talk to us, but none of the neighbors that argued against us in the city council meetings. We just want to forget the whole incident and enjoy the new house.  Mom will always have this long and trying experience in her memory. Mom says, “I’ve lost too much time with my kids. This was a one-time deal, to prove that I can chase my dreams and accomplish them. And I did.”